Create an "exclusivity" checkpoint for yourself.Īfter the fourth date, sit down with a piece of paper and a pencil and compare him to your list of must-haves and must nots. Especially if you don't know if he's the right guy for you. It's not a good idea to get caught up in the task of winning him over into being exclusive. (No, you're not a 'slut' if you date more than one guy.) And he doesn't have to be the ONLY guy you're dating. The reality is that just because you like a guy and start dating him, you don't have to keep dating him. Take the time to go over re-evaluate your relationship. He might not even think there's really a "change" in your status. Which means that for him, it's just a slow natural progression. Guys are perfectly happy letting the relationship move forward at its own pace. So that does mean you could potentially frighten him by bringing it up too early. Guys are much more relaxed about making things exclusive. Those guys that gave you a vibe of being “pickup artists” were simply trying to get out of the relationship. Guys don't want to date multiple women unless he doesn't see potential - or he's is just a player.Īnd the truth is that "players" only make up less than 10% of all men. However, if a guy is really into you, he's going to naturally stop seeing other women. If you try to get him to go exclusive before he is ready, you might send him running to the Hills. Guys are notoriously skittish when it comes to having a talk about your relationship status. Sometimes it's better to wait a little longer and let things run their course naturally. Do you really need to corner him and make him sign a document? Maybe take a test and and pledge his undying loyalty?īe careful about formalizing the arrangement at the expense of the natural flow. If you're trying to get exclusive with your man, think about whether or not you need to press the subject. You're just trying to get to a place where you can relax in the relationship. After all, there are no written contracts. It's not like anything formal actually changes between you. Yes, hopefully this means you no longer have to lie awake wondering if he's out on a date with another woman. If you think about it, what is supposed to change when your relationship becomes exclusive? For most people this means you stop dating other people. On the other hand, if he just plows forward, you won't really think about the "exclusive" part. You could wind up pretty agitated until you can nail things down. If you've been dating him for a few weeks and he seems like a really good catch, but seems a bit aloof, you're going to be worrying about losing him. Let's be honest: Making your dating exclusive is really a factor of of how anxious you feel about losing him. Your inner feelings about the relationship typically make this an issue or not. That means you are just spending your time enjoying the relationship instead of worrying about the formalizing and going exclusive. This can be a really good sign when neither of you really thinks about it much. Sometimes things seem to just go in the right direction with autopilot, and you don't need to push it. They don't always have The Talk to establish the formal start of The Relationship. Some couples never really officially make things exclusive. Making Things Exclusive Tip 1: You may never know… Let's talk about the different factors that might come up that make you think about going exclusive earlier vs later. Or you might run into a guy you’re just not sure about and you want to take a little extra time with him. You might run into your soulmate, and want to to speed things up. There is no perfect formula for figuring this out. And there are a lot of variables to this equation. The truth is, each person is going to have their own particular time frame and deadline. But if you're seeing each other a lot, that kind of implies that you are exclusive already. Maybe as many as 24 or if you see each other a lot. If you see each other once a week, that would be around 12 dates. Are they right? or is that too soon to be exclusive?
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